Day 17!

OK so this will probably be my last post for this vacation, unless you all want to hear some imaginary things that I didn't do, but whatever.

So today was sort of a lazy morning.  There wasn't much of a rush to get packed because the flight wasn't until 3:15PM.  So I had one more hotel shower so I wouldn't stink like everyone else always seems to on the plane.

So luggage packed, everything organized, I'm stinkin' pretty and my hair looks awesome.  I'm ready to go.  Wheeled the luggage down to the foyer and checked out.  Every step I take is one more closer to Canada.  OH BOY!  I CAN'T WAIT!

Then comes the 5 block walk to the "underground".  It is how they say "The subway that travels underground".  Brilliant!  (Yes that was sarcasm)

OK so the luggage was starting to get sort of heavy after two blocks.  I have been dragging this stuff for almost two weeks.  You would think I would have built up some muscle by now.  NOT A CHANCE!  I was aching everywhere!  Finally, the station.  Oh what's this?  Stairs?  WONDERFUL!  Not just any stairs though... there had to be over a thousand of them!  Then of course there was an issue with the place I had to go, so they created a nice little detour.  More friggin stairs!  Finally on the train.  Had to only do two transfers, no sweat!  Wait, is that sweat?  YES!  It was like an oven down there!  Transfer... Yep, more stairs.  Wait?  Crap wrong train!  Get off on the next exit to flip back to the other station... what's this?  UGH another 3000 stairs to just go back one station!  SHOOT ME NOW!  Physically exhausted, I've never wanted to be mugged for my belongings so much in my whole life!  Anyway, to kill off the redundancy, there were more and more stairs until finally something that almost made me cry.  There was an escalator at the end of the tunnel.  I thought for sure it was going to heaven!  It felt like it, so it must have been true.

Finally we get to the train shuttles to Heathrow Airport.  Purchase the tickets and make it through the gate and the guy says, Oh you better hurry, the train is about to... ugh it's leaving right now.  Sorry, you have to wait about 30 minutes for the next one.

Do you ever have one of those times in your life when you want to punch someone just because they're close enough?  I didn't do it, but I think it would have felt great.

OK so an upgraded ticket purchased to catch the express... and we're off!

The shuttle was uneventful so I nodded off for about 10 minutes.  That will be the last time I sleep for the day.  We get to the airport early now, because the train was supposed to kill time for us, so instead we were really really early because of the express.  Kelly and I got a sandwich.  (Mostly because I blogged earlier that that's why we were going to London)  I looked at three different places, but they all looked soggy.  Then I went back to the first place and the woman brought out some fresh tuna and cucumber on a baguettes!  I snatched one up and pranced proudly to the cash.  No soggy bun for me!

OK so after about an hour of wasting time we boarded the plane.  This is where the fun really begins. We found our seats, right side window and isle.  In front of us were two noisy kids that were jumping around in their seats... UGH.  Oh, then one up and to the left was a crying baby!  This couldn't possibly Get. Any. Worse.... Oh wait... Yes, it could!  There was a 4 year-old child jumping on his seat and grabbing at the woman (Complete stranger) in front of him while his parents totally ignored it.  RAH!  I made the plan right then and there, if that little creep even tries to do that with me, I'll punch his father right in the neck!  (Not really, but I was going to do something about it).  It took forever for the plane to take off.  The whole while I that four-year-old was getting worse!  Screaming, whining and being totally disrespectful to his parents.  I put on my earphones, turned up the music and drowned them all out.  I don't know how long I did that for, but I had to pee, so I got up and went.  While I was gone, that kid switched places with one of his brothers directly in front of me.  He was really bothering Kelly and I was gone for about 15 minutes because I had to wait for the stupid food cart to get out of the way.  When I sat down THAT KID stood up on his seat and stared at me!  OH MY GOSH!  So I looked at him with the most evil hateful mean nasty yucky gross... did I mention hate?  Evil?  Then his eyebrows furrowed and he sunk back into his chair for a few minutes SUCCESS!!!  Wait, he's back up!?  CRAP!  NOW HE'S MESSING WITH MY SCREEN!  Screw it, I'm going to fight his father after all!  I grabbed the kids hand and removed it from my screen, lifted it over his head and said with the most guttural mean but firm voice (without yelling) SSSSTOP!  That did it!  He never attempted one more interaction with either Kelly or me!  YAH!  I'm BRILLIANT!  His mother gave me a look, but I didn't care one bit.  It should have been her doing it anyway, not me!  He continued to be annoying to everyone else in the plane running up and down the rows, screaming, crying and being a pain to other passengers, but NOT ME!!!  HA!  Little creep!

OK so I ended up watching two movies, Red Riding Hood and Gnomeo & Juliet.  Yeah I know, but they were both pretty good.  The reason why I watched two was because Kelly kept elbowing me in the ribs!  Never fly with her, she is as bad as that little friggin kid!  (I can't wait for tomorrow for her reaction about that).  :)
Seriously though, I was about to drift off and she jabbed me in the ribs and said
Her: hey where is that pen?
Me: It's in with the luggage.
Her:  YOU JERK!
Me: What?!
Her: How could you be such an idiot!
Me: You're kidding right?
Her: Blah blah something about me having the pen all week, but now it is with the luggage.
Me: I was almost asleep eh?  *Leaning back into my sleep lean
Her: *Another Jab!
Me: What frig!
Her:  I need a PEN!
Me: What AM I supposed to do about that!
Her: FIND ONE!
Me: You're kidding right?
Her: NO!
Me: Oh my gosh, you're a freak!  What do you want me to do ask the pilot to pull over at the next corner store?  We're in a friggin plane!  Leave me alone!  *try to lean in again, and get another jab!
Me: What FRIG!
Her: YOU NEED TO FIND ME A PEN!
This continues on... but you get the idea.

Oh yeah, and by the way, that woman that fell yesterday?  It was Kelly!  She got mad at me for that too!  I was like 10 whole steps ahead of her!  She called me a jerk!

Someone please understand when I say HELP ME!

With the exception of issues like these, I had a lot of fun on this trip.  I'm physically exhausted, mentally stressed, more educated and experienced.  It might take me about 2 weeks before I can relax from being on vacation, but it was worth all the achy muscles to be able to experience Europe.

I want to again thank Kelly and the entire Coates family for allowing me the opportunity to have these experiences and for being such amazing people.  Experiences like these help me to appreciate my Country so much more.  We live in a blessed land.

*Hugs.